Coffee Nubbin
So the conversation between the three of us went something like this:
“When you see the dermatologist, you should probably talk to her about your nubbin.”
“She doesn’t have a nubbin.”
“Yes, she does. It’s on her head.”
“That mole?”
“Yes. It’s her nubbin.”
“What’s a nubbin?”
“A third nipple.”
“I don’t have a nubbin!”
“That’s not a nubbin, that’s a mole.”
“Yeah, well, whatever. She should talk to the dermatologist about it.”
“You know, there’s a character on one of the James Bond films that had a nubbin.”
“I don’t have a nubbin!!”
“And then Sean Connery had to disguise himself as that James Bond bad guy, and Q had to make him a nubbin to put on his chest.”
“Like a sticker or something?”
“Yes, exactly.”
“You know, you could walk around and put third nipples on just about anything!”
“You could put it on the cat!”
“You could put it on the lamp!”
“You could put it on the clock!”
“I. Don’t. Have. A. Nubbin!!!!!”
“You could put it on the candle.”
(Quietly…) “What if it’s the source of all my power?”
“You could put it on your coffee mug.”
“A coffee nubbin!”
“Chandler Bing had a nubbin!”
“Whip it out! Whip it out!”
“A coffee nubbin. Ha ha ha. That’d be funny.”
(mumbles to herself, whilst rubbing her nubbin) “I don’t have a nubbin!”
Monica: I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.
Phoebe: Oh, c’mon, like you tell me everything.
Monica: What have I not told you?
Phoebe: Oh, I don’t know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace!
Monica: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler] You are dead meat.
Chandler: I didn’t know it was a big secret.
Monica: Oh it’s not big, not at all, you know, kinda along the same lines as, say, oh I don’t know, having a third nipple.
Phoebe: You have a third nipple?
Chandler: You. Bitch.
Ross: Whip it out, whip it out!
Chandler: C’mon, there’s nothing to see, it’s just a tiny bump, it’s totally useless.
Rachel: Oh, as opposed to your other multi-functional nipples?
Joey: I can’t believe you. You told me it was a nubbin!
Ross: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
Joey: I don’t know, you see something, you hear a word, I thought that’s what it was. Let me see it again.
All: Yeah, show it. Show it. The nubbin, the nubbin, the nubbin.
Chandler: Joey was in a porno movie! If I’m going down, I’m taking everybody with me.
Ross: You were in a porno?
Joey: Alright, alright, alright, I was young and I just wanted a job, okay. But at the last minute I couldn’t go through with it so they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can’t ‘cause there’s people having sex on it.
Monica: That is wild.
Ross: [to Chandler] So what’s it shaped like?
Phoebe: Yeah, is there a hair on it?
Joey: What happens if you flick it?
Phoebe: Oh, c’mon, like you tell me everything.
Monica: What have I not told you?
Phoebe: Oh, I don’t know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace!
Monica: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler] You are dead meat.
Chandler: I didn’t know it was a big secret.
Monica: Oh it’s not big, not at all, you know, kinda along the same lines as, say, oh I don’t know, having a third nipple.
Phoebe: You have a third nipple?
Chandler: You. Bitch.
Ross: Whip it out, whip it out!
Chandler: C’mon, there’s nothing to see, it’s just a tiny bump, it’s totally useless.
Rachel: Oh, as opposed to your other multi-functional nipples?
Joey: I can’t believe you. You told me it was a nubbin!
Ross: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
Joey: I don’t know, you see something, you hear a word, I thought that’s what it was. Let me see it again.
All: Yeah, show it. Show it. The nubbin, the nubbin, the nubbin.
Chandler: Joey was in a porno movie! If I’m going down, I’m taking everybody with me.
Ross: You were in a porno?
Joey: Alright, alright, alright, I was young and I just wanted a job, okay. But at the last minute I couldn’t go through with it so they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can’t ‘cause there’s people having sex on it.
Monica: That is wild.
Ross: [to Chandler] So what’s it shaped like?
Phoebe: Yeah, is there a hair on it?
Joey: What happens if you flick it?
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