The Suicidal Snail * or * The Cockroach Was Watching

So my sweet kiddo is half way across the world at the moment, and after three really fantastic days, she had a bit of a rough one today.

It's tough to be a mom to your kiddo who is having a rough time when she's half way around the world.  Not much you can do, but give advice, send virtual hugs, and try to cheer her up with SNAFIA!

Snafia? you ask?  Why, yes!  Snafia!

Snail mafia!

And what, pray tell, is Snail Mafia?  Well......

So it all started with a lovely conversation regarding the French word for praying mantis.  *mante religiuse* aka religious insect.

This led to the following texting conversation:

me: I always thought the praying mantis looked like a guy in the mafia getting ready to count his money... or kill someone.

me:  mwah ha ha

me:  as he rubs his hands together

her:

me: Prays to the devil that his wicked evil ways are being plotted without error!

her:

me:  Yes!  I've changed my mind. I am now going to write murder mysteries with bugs as main characters. Like picture books for grown ups. 

her:

me: South Park is a huge hit bc the cartoon characters swear. Mine is all about murdering bumblebees and plotting praying mantises

 me: Mwah ha ha 

her: 

me: One cicada to rule them all!!!

her:

me: Love it!!

her:  

me: The Suicidal Snail.  I think that will be the title.

her:  The snail mafia.  (Snafia)

me: The praying mantis will frame the lady bug.

me:  Yes! Snafia Wars!!

her: Vengeance will be had...slowly

me:  One foot at a time.... And for the centipede, that might just take a while.

me:  They could send pieces of the centipede back to his wife in a box as a threat.  But it's taking too damn long because he has so many feet.

me: And don't even get me started on the snuff films involving the koi pond and the evil raccoon.

me:  Turns out the skunk framed him.

me:  I might just have to put this in my blog.  Maybe I'll even write it up.

her:  I'll put up screenshots.

me: Send out the hummingbird to rough up the bad guys

me: That quick flapping can do some serious damage to the potato bugs.

me:  And don't EVEN get me started on unleashing the robins on the earthworms who were trying to eat the praying mantis's apples.

me:  Just a quick nip, they said.

me: It won't hurt anyone, they said.

me:  Little did they know...

me:  The cockroach was watching.

me:  Ooooh! Another great title!

me:  We could have those creepy crawly millipedes with the pincers on the front hold the suckers down!

me:  Mwah ha ha

her:  Omg

me:  And the tabby cat is their overlord.

her:  *ofc (of course)

*The tabby cat overlord is not amused.*

Her tumblr post:



Now I must put off my chores for the day and head off to write *The Suicidal Snail* or *The Cockroach was Watching.*

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